Kissdrawal
by CheatingAtMonkeyBall
Summary: Set during "Playing the Field." Mindy experiences weird things when she can't kiss Josh. Perhaps the king of kissing himself could tell her what's wrong. Drake/Mindy.


I started watching Drake & Josh again, and dude! Mindy and Drake should get married. They are so cute. Their rivalry is so sweet! I think they're the best for each other - Josh and Mindy don't have anything that funny or special. Anywho: things to know! This takes place during "Playing the Field" or the episode with Josh's mustache. I think the rest is obvious.

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Mindy Crenshaw considered herself a very independent woman. She didn't need a man's love; she was perfectly fine on her own. Sure, Josh was smart and nice and stuff, but she could live without him. She could definitely live without his hairy upper lip. That hairy upper lip taunted her. Something that once made her high - kissing those clean soft lips - was now disgusting and irritating at the touch. Mindy couldn't blame Josh for this obnoxious creature. He had always been a late bloomer, and Walter probably hadn't even told him what a razor was.

However, the mustache wasn't near as noticeable as Josh thought, and from a distance it still looked as if he still had those cherry chapstick covered lips that made her so happy. Mindy couldn't cave into the kiss the way she wanted to though; this was a competition. She couldn't let Josh beat her in something as silly as going the longest without kissing; that would ruin her reputation. She always would torment him with the fact that she beat him at the science fair, but he could make her sound real dumb real quick with something as silly as having kiss-withdrawal. Some of those dorks in the AV club hadn't even had their first kiss. They worshipped Mindy, for she felt it no big deal to kiss. If they found out she was just as desperate as them, they'd immediately banish her.

Even worse, if Josh never gave up his mustache and she her pride, she might have to go to such terms as to pay people to get her what she wanted. She'd have to hire a prostitute to help her in her scheme to kiss her boyfriend. How stupid does that sound? She'd be the ridiculed and not even have the knowledge and security that she was better than them all. If anything, the girl would have to do even more damage to her reputation and become popular if she ever wanted to redeem her intimidating stature. That would not work out at all because her idea of making "small talk" was musing if an atom really was the smallest element there was. Of course, the boys died over that line and would be wrapped around her little finger immediately.

As not kissing Josh seemed to be an annoyance, Mindy took on Drake's problem with winning back his female companion as a distraction. Whenever the slimy step-brother walked in, she'd torture him with the fact that he'd lost a girl he wanted because of something stupid as not wanting to be called "boyfriend." At least he admitted that he was desperate to take it back - something she couldn't quite do in her own situation. It was much easier to stall her symptoms of withdrawal with his distraction though, for she knew what she was dealing with. Drake had given Mindy a word problem, and Mindy was a natural problem solver. Given her clues and evidence, Drake was just as desperate to get kissed as she was.

The biggest problem ever occurred when she found herself not being able to stand it any longer. She rushed to the Parker-Nichols' home and knocked on the door. Megan answered it, and before Mindy could even get a word in, the younger girl said, "The boob's upstairs." Mindy nodded and gave a thumb's up before walking swiftly upstairs to her boyfriend's bedroom. She knocked twice to make sure she didn't catch anyone half naked, but when she opened the door, she saw Drake listening to his headphones loudly and strumming along on his guitar. His lips were mouthing along with the words. One symptom of kiss-withdrawal: Mindy finds herself looking at people's lips more often.

"Drake?" she called to him once. The boy did not look up, so she figured his music must have been too loud. "Drake!" she called louder. The boy continued to sit there with his head bobbing to the rock-n-roll music blaring from his headphones. Mindy decided to take a drastic new method to make the boy aware of her presence. She walked towards him, squatted in front of him, pulled the headphones from his ears and shouted, "Drake!"

By this time the boy was now glaring at her. "I heard you the first time," he replied insensitively and put his guitar down. "What are you doing in our room anyway?"

"Where is Josh?" Mindy asked, ignoring his rude tone.

"Getting a shower; why?"

"I don't know," Mindy replied with a sarcastic shrug, "I thought it was normal for a girlfriend to want to hang out with her boyfriend." The dirty blond shook her head at such a thought.

Drake rolled his eyes and snapped, "You don't have to use sadism on me." Mindy almost threw up at his mess up but decided to let it slide. "Now if you don't mind: leave."

The smart girl gave Drake a pout. "Awww, does Drake miss kissing Tori."

"Yes," the guitar player snapped, "and I'm really irritable when I have kissdrawal." Kissdrawal? What a word to describe such a thing. It made perfect sense yet was still anonymous and Dr. Seuss.

Mindy was marveled. "There's a word for it?" Drake nodded. There was one less syllable she'd have to think up when staring longingly at Josh's hairy upper lip. "Clever," she commented measly.

Drake smirked in a flirtatious way, "Looks like this underachiever has a dictionary with words you haven't heard." Mindy smirked and rolled her eyes at the pathetic comment. "Seriously though, why are you here?" Drake was Josh's step brother and best friend. He knew that the awkward boy would not start taking a shower if he expected his girlfriend over. Other than that, Josh hadn't been shouting "Mindy's coming over!" all day which was a dead giveaway.

The aforementioned girlfriend bit her lip and debated whether she ought to tell him or not. Drake was a very popular boy and despised Mindy. There was nothing stopping him from telling the entire school that she was a desperate little whore that couldn't live without her boyfriend. However, Drake didn't seem to care at all what happened to the pathetic nerds - he couldn't even tell the difference between Craig and Erik. Mindy was certainly lower than them on his list, so why would he tell her tall tale if she told him. Besides, if she fessed up, it would appear to be no big deal. "Drake, what are some symptoms of kissdrawal?"

Drake shrugged and gave a toss of his hands. "I don't know; it's different for everyone." That made sense. People were different and took things different ways. It probably depended on who's kisses you were getting high off. It's like drugs, they don't work on everybody. "It doesn't happen to me often because I'm Drake. I keep thinking of Tori now and I get upset whenever I hear Josh talking about his mustache problems. At least he HAS a girlfriend!"

Mindy gave a grin. "Wow, Drake, you just called me a girl and admitted to be jealous of Josh to my face. What has gotten into you?" She didn't know why she was flirting with Drake, and she certainly didn't know why he was letting her. He was actually being relatively nice to her. Perhaps it was the kissdrawal that was getting to them. It worked the same as regular old drug withdrawal. The victim wants more bu can't have it, so they find another addiction or habit to take it's place. A distraction. Still, Drake was not the typical guy that she was interested in. He wasn't very smart for one thing, and he was a player at the next. He hadn't even tried his luck at winning her heart, so why was he doing so well at melting down her hard shell?

Drake once again shrugged his strong shoulders but smirked in advancing to one-up her. "Force of habit. If we let Josh believe he's dating a female and not some fictitious monster, he won't go insane."

"Well then, that makes you just as crazy as him to be talking to me right now."

There was a long silence as the musician tried to think of a decent comeback that was suitable for the situation. He couldn't just flail on with a series of "oh yeah's" like Josh normally did; Drake had an image to protect. Still, something about this back and forth with Mindy was hitting something. He was already desperately horny from the lack of liplocking he was having that week. In as casual a voice as he could muster - he can't believe he was even suggesting this - these words flew out of his mouth: "You wanna make out?"

Mocking his nonchalant tone, Mindy responded swiftly, "Yes." And that was how Josh found his girlfriend and step brother ten minutes later upon getting out of the shower: making out in his favourite recliner.

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Awww, poor Joshy. Hehe, I hope this is decent. It took nearly a week to write because of plot bunnies. 0_0 I stay up late at night thinking up plot bunnies. This was one that came up - especially when I saw the deleted scene in the credits after this lovely episode! Please review and tell me about my first fanfic. Very light-hearted, this one was.  
Drake & Josh (c) Dan Schneider.


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